Revelatory Revolutionary Road

This weekend I saw Revolutionary Road with Silvia because we were both pining for our boyfriends whom we haven't seen in over two weeks now, and for some reason we felt that watching a failed romance would get us into spirits again, or at least make us miss our boyfriends a little less. We also tried to watch Intolerable Cruelty by the Cohen Bros. so we'd have a little balance of moods, but unfortunately the disc didn't work.
Revolutionary Road received a 69% on Rotten Tomatoes. One critic said "It plays like Douglas Sirk without the irony". That's never a good thing to say about, anything. I had also heard mixed reviews from friends. I didn't go into it with any particular expectations. However, I am pleased to say I was pleasantly surprised by the film overall. The acting was stellar on both Kate and Leo's parts. Kate's role reminded me of her role in "Little Children": the suburban mom/ wife who was meant for more, stuck in her pretty little house and well mowed lawn. Watching Revolutionary Road was like watching my parents fight. Sometimes I sympathized with April while hating Frank, and other times I felt bad for Frank, while criticizing April of being too irrational and idealistic. But this is not a review of the film's aesthetics or the actors' performances. The film very blatantly showed us their message and so many people have already gone into that anyway. What I found interesting about the movie was what it made me think about.
This movie portrayed a very real fear of mine. A fear which is beginning to grow bigger as I get older. Although the story was supposed to portray the social issues of conformity, materialism, and the pursuit of self identity beyond the confines of marriage that permeated American life during the 50's, these things have been very close to my heart recently. All those issues are exactly my fears. Becoming a housewife after having to put my dreams on hiatus to have kids, watch them grow into healthy, happy human beings, please my husband, keep the house pretty, entertain neighbors, only to realize that I myself am only getting older and unhappier. Or even worse, that I am not doing anything important with my life. I'm not making the most of that Berkeley education, or that resume I spent all my energy building. I mean, I know this isn't the fifties and its much more common to see women creating successful careers and names for themselves even while juggling a family life. But then we see their family lives are not so stellar, and they get shunned for not having their priorities straight as a mother and wife. I look at my own mother and still see her constantly struggling to balance both on a fully loaded plate. This movie made me think about my future, and the road Im headed on. Am I going to end up on Revolutionary Road, endlessly bickering with a man I once loved so passionately and found so intriguing but now loathe? Will I find all my hopes and aspirations sucked away by the very life I pursue? The film also addressed another issue I've been mulling over in my head recently, should I go for a life of ensured comfort and stability or do I just keep on fighting for what I really want to do, despite the lack of any such guarantees? The movie made it pretty clear that one should follow their heart and never give up searching for that ultimate form of meaning in life.
But I am torn because I disagreed with the characters motives and their views of life and purpose. I saw April searching for meaning and a greater depth to her "mundane" suburban life. She felt that she was special and was always meant for more than what everyone else was doing. (As she kept reminding us through dramatic monologues throughout the film). She wanted to be an actor but failed because she wasn't good, at least thats what I got from what little the film revealed of her past. For some reason both she and Frank reached a point where they had to stop searching and live a "normal" American life. This is where I don't get it. Why did they stop searching for meaning just because they had the PRIVILEGE of buying an enormouse house and living among good people? Why did they have to give up "truth" in order to live the lifestyle they had? Was there really something wrong with the lifestyle, or was it just something wrong with them? What was to stop them from leading equally miserable lives in Paris, or anywhere else for that matter? I think the problem with the American Dream, is that people literally put their ALL into its pursuit. In fact, I wont even use the term "they" because I am guilty of this too. I go to college, hoping to graduate with a new perspective of the world and because I heard its the next logical step to getting the career that I want. I know I want a career and to establish a name for myself somehow, but I have to make sure I dont forget about getting married to the man of my dreams (but he also has to be on the fast track to the American Dream with me of course), buying a house, and having a family- all in that order. This is what Im headed towards. I dont see anything wrong with this, or else I would have stopped and turned 180 degrees away from it. This is what Frank and April did. Theres nothing wrong with it. I think where they went wrong was that this was all they lived for. This became their identity, it defined them. In the pursuit of these dreams, we have to make sure we don't neglect the other things that give our life meaning, like friends, family, community, our loved ones. These are the things that give me meaning and are always there to remind me of why I do what I do. Jobs are jobs, careers are careers. In the end, if I were to die today, without having achieved all these things in my life, I shouldn't feel like I missed out on anything because I had all these cherished relationships, friends who are like sisters, my family, and I those little everyday moments that make life so meaningful in itself. Self Identity is not made by yourself, but its a collective of experiences that you go through in life, with other people. If anyones seen the movie "UP", you'd understand that movie hilighted the missing elements in the story of Revolutionary Road. Carl and Ellie were similar to Frank and April, a young happy couple so in love with each other and both with extraordinary dreams. However, we find out that in the end it wasn't the big adventure that mattered, but the many little moments Carl and Ellie shared together, just appreciating and loving each other in all their normal and mundane patterns. I think this is what Frank and April was missing. Sure, they were friends with their neighbors. But it felt so artificial, and they werent really there for each other through the hard times. Their neighbors probably had no idea how miserable Frank and April really were under the exterior. So many people live life this way. We feel that its ok to put everything else on hiatus in order to get what we think we want, when in reality we'll miss out on everything important and amount to nothing in the end. They had everything most people could ask for. They got caught up in themselves, they were selfish and kept their eyes on some unattainable prize, which neither was sure even existed. They were so caught up in the rat race that they even forgot each other, and that beauty they once found in each other. In the end, no matter how hard we chase after our own sense of meaning and superior identity in life, its the little moments and relationships that we remember in the end. This movie reminded me so badly of how I'd neglected these aspects of what I once cherished, but it also helped me realize that my fears are unecessary.